Handicap Day Fun!

[Joe Busch]

A tongue-in-cheek tribute, from Jack Nicholson’s character in “A Few Good Men.”

Scott T, World AM: “Consider yourself in Contempt if you have not sent in your handicap by Aug. 17th!”
Harry Radley : “Mr. Busch, did you send in your handicap?”
Scott T. World AM: “You *don’t* have to answer that question.”
Joe Busch, hacker: “I’ll answer the question!”
[to Radley]
Joe Busch: “You want handicaps?”
Joe Busch: *YOU WANT HANDICAPS?”
Harry: “I want the handicaps!”
Joe Busch: “You can’t handle my handicap!”
[pauses]
Joe Busch, hacker: Harry, we live in a world that has many golf courses, and those courses have to be regulated by men using slopes and ratings, things I will never understand. Who’s gonna explain it to me? You? You, Scott T.? I have a higher index than you could possibly fathom. You weep for Hollywood handicappers (I am not one), and you curse the Sandbaggers (I live in the sand, but I never bag it). You have that luxury of never going into the deep woods, the high rough right in front of the tee box, or onto the various back roads of Pawley’s Island. You have the luxury of not having to play from where my shots go. Those Hollywooders, while tragic, probably believe they are that good. And my handicap, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, rocks my world. You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me in that last bracket to protect the integrity of the hacker. We use words like honor, USGA rules, playing provisionals. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent playing the game trying to emulate Ben Hogan, but looking more like Happy Gilmore. You use us as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who shoots par, birdies lot of holes; rises and sleeps under the blanket paid for with my weekly skins fees, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a 3 wood, and you try to slice it 125 yards into the East woods. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you are entitled to.
Radley: “Mr. Busch Did you send in your handicap?”
Joe Busch, hacker: “I did it, OK I… “
Scott T.: “Did you send in your handicap?”
Joe Busch, hacker: “You’re Goddamn right I did!”

(FYI, just kidding Harry! Love sending in my high, very high handicap, then reading about all you single digit indexers; come play with the bottom flight and we’ll show you a good time! Not sure I can wait another two weeks, productivity at work is taking a nose dive!

[John Cossaboom]

Well done. Now comes the hardest part, the waiting.

[Bill Hambrick]

Only 6 days til courses come out

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